8/8/2015 Live life
Have you heard stories about people who work hard all their lives to
have enough money to retire on, only to drop dead or suffer a terrible illness
a year from or after retiring.
My dad has a similar story. He had worked all his life to support
his family, then made a couple of wrong decisions and had to start over. Start
over he did, packing up from Perth and resettling in Melbourne. He had no
dependents, so was free to explore and try whatever he liked to turn his hand
to. Being a very sociable person he enjoyed playing golf and bowls, then he met
and moved in with his new partner, Brenda. Seemed like he was going well and
starting to enjoy life again, then he suffered his first stroke.
The first stroke was totally debilitating. He lost a lot of muscle
control down his right side and had to basically learn to talk, walk and write
all over again. That was around 20 years
ago.
During the last month, Dad suffered what was the fifth or sixth such
stroke “event”. Each time he has been robbed of more independence. This one has
taken away his ability to stand up, balance or even get out of bed by himself.
The nursing home he lives in must call in 2 staff with a special lifting frame
to pick him up and place him into the wheelchair where he spends the rest of
the day.
I have just spent 2 weeks at home with my Dad. As I have written
many times on my blog, the hardest part of our sailing around Australia
adventures is leaving family and friends behind. A guilty cloud hangs over me
to this day.
To avoid this spoiling our adventure, I have to look at the situation
from an objective viewpoint. If I was at
home going to work everyday then I would not be any more available to my family
than I am now. As I have proved during this visit, when they really need me,
anywhere in the world is just a plane ride away.
The trip back and time spent in WA, made me ask myself, “why do we
western civilizations spend so much time living to work and so little time
living”.
If I could I would ask dead people what gave
them the most joy and sense of accomplishment during their time on earth. I
would bet that it wouldn’t be their work. Maybe some like doctors or people
that discovered antibiotics or such like, but for the vast majority it would be
something other than their job.
Leanne’s response to me when I put this
question to her was, I think, more to the point. She says that managing to have
a strong relationship with me (now over 30 years), seeing our 2 children become
the beautiful people they are and having some business success are her
achievements.
None of these have been easy. With all three
subjects we have had some trying, difficult and turbulent times. But the
rockiest road often has the best views. Each of the difficulties we faced from
time to time has lead to a strengthening of our resolve to learn from the
situation and grow from the results.
Part of our success, I think, is that we have
often taken a different path from the norm. With that there has often been a
great deal of risk. For example, buying a catamaran with the same money we
could have bought an investment property was indeed a gamble for us. This was
mainly because we had at that point spent a grand total of 20 days in our lifetime,
sailing.
So if I could, I would encourage every one to
start living to live and stop living to work. For me it started with finding an
interest. I tried golf, motor biking, guitar lessons, going to university,
playing volleyball and almost started pottery before finally stumbling upon
cruising sailing as something I could get passionate about.
It doesn’t matter what it is for you. Could
be paragliding, trekking through mountain ranges, discovering relics, living in
a hippy commune or marathon running. As long as you find something other than
working to get more joy out of your life.
If you’ve got an interest or a dream, go for
it. We owe it to the folks who would love to be out there having a go at life
but are unable to, like my Dad.
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| My son, myself and my Dad in happier times. |
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